Panic! At the White House
this tweet is absolutely taking me out
#UseYourButt
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SO APPARENTLY MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE HOW HAS YOUR GUYS’ NIGHT BEEN
UPDATE: SO LATER THAT NIGHT WHEN MY BROTHER GOT HOME FROM WORK (HE IS 6+ YEARS OLDER, MORE PROFICIENT IN FARSI THAN I AM, AND ALSO OFTEN VISITS IRAN), I ASKED HIM WHAT HE THOUGHT THE PERSIAN WORD FOR “REMOTE CONTROL WAS” AND HE ALSO SAID THE WORD!!!!!! AND WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IT WAS A FAKE FILLER WORD, HIS FIRST RESPONSE WAS “WOW, WHAT????? SO THEY LIED TO US?????? WHAT ELSE IS FAKE??????? ARE THEY EVEN OUR REAL PARENTS?????”
SO GOOD TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS BETRAYAL.
>forgotten where I've left my keys
>no worries, I'm an intellectual
>simply stop, smug look to camera, and announce that I'm entering my mind palace to remember where I put them
>close my eyes and pinch my temple
>instantly find my consciousness transported to the entrance of my mind palace
>mfw I've forgotten my mind keys